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Starting Over

I feel like I’m always starting posts like this. I work on things that have been holding me back just for something else to reach the breaking point. The past 6 months have definitely offered a lot of healing for me. I’ve learned new ways to process my feelings. I’ve decluttered my online space and cleared out the noise. I’ve reconnected to music, which has helped to no end. And I’ve renewed my purpose and drive, ready to attack my goals once more.

My energy level was always an issue for me. Being able to maintain a constant state and finish everything I wanted to be done, without completely wearing myself out. Sometimes it would take weeks to recover from the burnout. My energy is now stable, I still have some low days, but I’m learning to rest. My anxiety, however, has been a bit of an issue. Even though I know I can achieve what I set my mind to, everything cand still go to hell if I let that little voice in.

The biggest stumbling block lately has been comments and messages. They really trigger my anxiety especially if I don’t reply within 48 hrs. I end up avoiding the task but then I worry about disappointing the person who left a comment or sent me a message. I end up making the mental decision not to be active on any platforms until I catch up on replies. I don’t want to be that ass hole who “has time to make content but not time to reply to comments”. Or on my personal platforms, I don’t want people to think I’m avoiding them so I avoid the whole situation. I don’t even allow myself to be seen interacting with other people or their content. It’s just silly. Yes, I should get better at replying more promptly but I also shouldn’t let that stop me progressing.

Beyond that, I have been using my time to make a lot of headway with my novels. Yes, plural. I’ve decided to hold one series back, a dark romance, because I want to rework it. I love the story too much to rush it. So I’ve started working on the high school second chance romance again. It was a good chunk of the way finished, but again I wan to rework it a bit and make it a dual perspective. But the story is solid, so I’m happy to launch my writing career with it.

I’m so excited to finally have my writing going out into the world. it’ actually what helped me overcome a lot of my anxiety. I’ll only be able to complete these projects if I buckle down and get on with it. Of course, having everyone home all the time for most of the last year hasn’t helped, but in a way it has. Sure my kids should be away at full-time nursery and I should be in my favourite coffee shop, but this has taught me to adapt and flourish in less than ideal situations. Not to say I don’t love my kids, but having them running around like a hurricane 24/7 doesn’t exactly do wonders for concentration.

In fact I have several posts coming up this week about all the changes I have made and how I’m doing things differently. I can’t wait to share them with you.

I hope you all have a fab week,