During my little break, I came to realise what the real problem was. Why I was never getting what I wanted to be done, or in some cases even started. I had always thought it was just me biting off more than I could chew, believing either thing s wouldn’t take as long as they actually do or that I’d have more time than I actually did. And while elements of this are true, the real issue was how I was portioning out my tasks in relation to my time. I was organising my time as if I had some sort of concrete routine when I know fine well I don’t.
I can’t always guarantee that my kids will give me peace to edit in the morning or write in the afternoon (not to mention the mum guilt I end up feeling but that’s another post). I can’t guarantee that someone isn’t going to want to chat to me on my lunch break or my partner won’t have oodles of stories to tell me when I get home. I can’t guarantee that my kids will go to bed and actually sleep without an extra hour of intermittent tantrums and “MUM! Juice?”. And even after all that I can’t guarantee I’ll have the energy.
Even with all this happening, I was still striving to get content made. It’s what I love to do, it’s my hobby. Other people have dogs, some have active social lives or love gaming. I love beauty and makeup, and I love sharing my experiences and info that I’ve picked up. But with constant interruption and always having to validate what I’m doing, it gets exhausting. Something that used to relax me began to stress me out. And it would sound ridiculous to share it with someone; if they then checked out this blog and saw that I barely post twice a month (yeah, cos you put in so much work).
Yes, I need to stop thinking I can do so much, but I also need to stop planning so far ahead. I used to map out my content months in advance and create fortnightly To-Do lists only to not be able to produce the content and get super discouraged.
I’m going to try mapping out only the coming month’s content and do daily To-Do lists. As I said I can’t guarantee how much time I’m going to have, so there’s no point in assuming what I can do over the course of the week. But every day has a different feel and I can have a better gauge on what I can achieve. And if suddenly Nick says “let’s all go to the park tomorrow” I won’t end up in a fit of stress having to rearrange everything.
I’ll be honest someday do just turn into a steaming pile of poo and other days I could conquer the world. I need to stop letting the things I don’t achieve on poopy days make my entire week poopy (yes, I’m actively trying not to swear, if I cut it out of all areas in my life it helps more – post on this soon). Just by writing this I’ve done more than I have all week and I’ve gotten my day off to a great start. And I didn’t have to exhaust myself in the process.
I hope you all have a wonderful week and try not to be too hard on yourself!