Turning 30 is an amazing milestone but it’s also very anti-climactic for me. By this point in my life, I thought I’d be in a good job, with a nice house (that I’d have already paid a good chunk of the mortgage on) and be driving a nice car. I’m in quite the opposite position, and I’m not even going to attempt to pass the buck, it’s completely my own fault.
I’m in debt, that’s not news. How that debt originally formed was through buying makeup and has since evolved into a massive mound of interest. I’ve long since paid off the makeup but with each payment, a chunk would be clawed back my interest. Yes there are a few adult purchases in there like paying the movers, buying kitchen appliances and a bunch of grocery orders, but if I hadn’t of bought all that makeup in the first place I wouldn’t be in this mess; and that is my fault.
I’m a stress shopper and I’m a completionist.
Not a great combo
Most of my stress came from my job and living with my parents. Maybe I should have changed jobs or moved out of my parents’ house sooner instead of relying on temporary relief. Now my stress is fueled by money. Falling back on old habits only dug me a deeper hole. I do my best to abstain, but just when I think I’m doing fine, I’ll slip up. Sure, each time I slip up a little less but that doesn’t make it ok and letting it go unchecked could ultimately lead to a complete regression.
It’s time for change, real change.
I’m in no position to tackle the immediate cause of my stress, but I can make positive choices to get myself out of the situation at a quicker rate than at present. I can create a stricter budget, channel my energy into more productive things and find less destructive distractions.
Hopefully by this time next year I will be less disappointed with my position in life.