Well, it’s more like typing back to happiness, but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it. In truth, I haven’t been happy lately. I had thought it was because I wasn’t getting out of the house. But then I went out and planned a few more outings for the near future and yet still didn’t feel quite there yet. Then it clicked. I wasn’t making time for the things I wanted to do.
That’s not entirely true. I was feeling guilty for thinking about making time for the things I wanted to do. That’s what was getting me down, the guilt of having a selfish thought. But doing something I want to do would make me happy, and If I were happier I’d be a better person to be around and that would benefit my kids; so if that’s the end result, is it really selfish? No, I don’t think it is.
No one is stopping me but me and my overthinking brain voice. So instead of wallowing in self-inflicted misery, I decided to just get on with it. I’m back to blogging and filming. I’m getting my book and writing channel up and going and kickstarting Basic Makeup. If I want these avenues to lead anywhere I can’t sit around any longer waiting for that perfect time where I don’t feel guilty for working because looking back I just end up feeling guilty for not working.
I’m so ready to get going that I didn’t want to buy a planner, I made one instead. Yesterday I busted out an A4 notebook and plotted out everything I wanted to do next month and evenly portioned it out so I do a little work each day. It’s all about the bitesize chunks. If you set too long a list and you can’t complete it, the feeling of failure begins to weigh down and few days of that will just grind you to a halt. Bite Size Chunks!
I have the next couple of weeks planned out and the bare bones of a routine, but I may have to adjust things along the way. My only enemy is the little gremlin that tells me it’s ok to stop when I can’t be bothered. Once I’m in a routine the gremlin gets drowned out by the sound of my mind working like a machine.
Go do what makes you happy. A happy you is a better you.